I’ve been in a funk the last couple of weeks physically, and mentally. I haven’t had a job for the last seven months, yet I couldn’t actively go out and search because I didn’t know when my family would move from New York. Plus, every time I thought about or applied to jobs in my area, it didn’t feel right.
Other aspects of my life also aren’t syncing either. I’m a yoga teacher who can’t teach, and I have no studio I can go to for further training. I’m single, a little bit lonely but unable to really meet anyone where I am. I can’t go out on regular walks because of the cold. All in all, I feel stuck.
So, here I am. Thirty years old and not sure at all where my life is supposed to go. But that’s how I’ve felt before every big event or change in my life.
That got me thinking. Usually I equate fulfilling goals or being busy as indicators I’ve done something meaningful. Now, I’m not so sure. I’ve wondered lately if the greater achievements are made in preparing and studying. So I’ve decided to study and prepare myself mentally and physically through my writing and yoga practice.
I now actively write, clean up my past articles and conduct intensive research every day. I know I need to be working on this skill, and thankfully I’ve been able to write almost every day the last month. The downside to this, is I’m really tired. I’d forgotten how exhausting in-depth research can be. I also have a tendency to NOT STOP for hours on end. This is good practice overall (I feel my mind expanding like a balloon!) but other aspects of my health are suffering.
I miss my daily morning walks. I miss going to 3B Yoga in Provo, Utah. But winter and living circumstances prevent me from doing these things.
I want to be patient with myself and take time to rest as I should. but I also need to test myself physically so I can pull myself out of my winter blues. (I don’t think Vitamin D is enough to combat it.)
So this next month I’m commiting to a daily Ashtanga Yoga sequence every day. I haven’t done this for several years, but I feel this would be a good time to start.
I don’t like to undertake these kinds of journeys alone though. So, every day for the next thirty days I will write about my experiences; how I’m feeling physically, changes I notice every week, and spiritual inspirations I have.
Practicing yoga is very important to me and I hope by going through this challenge I can become a better teacher as well. Covid-19 restrictions won’t last forever. Once studios open up again I want to start seriously teaching again.
In my personal journey, I hope I can help someone who is also feeling down.
See you soon!